Yep, seen em all. I mentioned that I am running cacheless in my initial post (even put it in italics because I knew someone would mention it . It's not a 'my hardware is too slow' problem - it's a problem with the dansguardian processes shooting up from like 300 to 1000 in the space of 5 minutes and then sticking there forever (making the internet unuseable) until I reset the proxy cache (which there shouldn't even be a cache, since it's set to run cachless - but I think just changing any setting that makes dansguardian restart is what fixes it.)

I need to know how to do one of three things:

1. Increase the number of maxchildren past 1000.
2. Limit the amount of processes/connections that are allowed to come from one IP/device.
3. If it's a computer/device/etc on the network that is doing this, i need to know how to find them - I've tried everything, nothing stands out when looking at the network visualizer, etc, when it is locked up. If I run TOP, well...you can see the results of that in the posts above - nothing conclusive.